Child Rearing...

I'm pretty sure that I have never seen an episode of Andy Griffith or Leave it to Beaver in which you see Aunt Bea or June Cleaver (in all their perfection) happily doing dishes or sweeping the floor...meanwhile, you hear in the background, "I'M THROUGH!!!!"

If you are a mommy of potty-trained children, you know good and well what this means.  You are about to walk to the bathroom, open the door (or just walk through if you're at my house because no one knows how to shut a door) and as quick as you walk in you see a very naked heiney in all it's glory, sticking straight up in the air in the assumed position.  If you don't get there in the amount of time, said sticking up heiney feels is appropriate, you are bound to hear, "COME WIPE MY BUTT!!!!"

Oh yes.  These are the things the doctors do not prepare you for after birthing a precious bundle of joy. There is no manual they give you as you leave the hospital that gives step by step instructions on how to raise a child.  Trust me, I've had three and no luck with a manual yet.  

No one tells you about the times when those wonderfully sweet children turn into horrible, bratty, mean little creatures whose only goal for the day is to drive you so crazy that your head starts spinning like the chick from The Exorcist.  No one tells you that there will be days on end when you have absolutely no sleep, but you still have to get up and keep going.  No one tells you that the reason that your laundry pile is reaching the ceiling is not because you have an additional body to clothe, but because that additional body has projectile vomited all over you twelve times today.

There are other times that no one tells you about.  The first time you get to see the most adorable little smile on a tiny little face, it simply melts your heart.  The very first time you hear "I love you mommy" from the most precious voice, the world seems so much better.  No one tells you about the sweet prayers babies pray when they talk to Jesus, it doesn't even cross their minds to doubt His wonderful presence.  These special times are just the tip of the iceberg.  There are so many other times that make sleep deprivation, wearing vomit, and wiping bottoms worth every single second.  I'm trying to learn how to laugh through crummy times, because in reality these babies will be grown before I can blink.  Cy turns seven this year, and I could swear that it was just last week that I was walking the floors with him trying to soothe his colic.  

Tonight, after a VERY trying day, I finally got everyone calmed down and in bed.  We prayed our prayers and told our stories, because we can't go to sleep until that is done of course.  Cy crawled in my lap, and didn't really fit easily anymore.  His long, lanky legs draped off the bed, and his long arms wrapped around my neck.  He gave me a kiss and told me that he loves me.  That love made my negative mommy day turn into the best night a mommy could have.

I'm sure tomorrow when he remembers that I grounded him from his video games, he'll probably hate me again....but I'll think about that tomorrow!!!

Yep.  I am officially a "MEAN MOMMY!!!"

Currently I am sitting on my bed, surrounded by folded clothes, listening to my three year old scream at the top of her lungs.  "MOMMY!  MOMMY!  MOMMY!  YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!! YOUR A MEAN MOMMY!!  MOMMY COME HERE!!!  COME HERE!!! MOMMY!! MOMMY!!!


MMMMMOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!"

I implemented a new rule today, after being screamed at and ignored for the majority of the afternoon.  If you can't mind mommy, and if you insist on fussing and fighting, I will spank your bottom and send you to bed.  AND I will ignore you until you go to sleep.

My friend assures me this is "tough love."  I can assure everyone, that it is not just tough on the kids.  It is tough to be the "mean mommy" even when I know it is what is best for everyone.  I am a firm believer that today's society is rearing over-indulged, overly-petted, overly-appeased children.  I'm not saying that children shouldn't be loved and cherished.  I'm saying that as a society we are training future adults that will require the "things" they want and need in life to be handed to them on a silver platter.  Quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

As a parent I shouldn't be required to reward bad behavior by handing over a new toy or game and essentially say, "Oh it's okay to scream at me in this store in front of everyone, just because I told you you couldn't have it.  Honey, sweetie, sugarpie....just quit your bellering and I'll buy it for you."  I'm sick of it.  If people want to look at me as a horrible person, so be it.  I want to raise functional, self-supportive, confident adults.  I want to raise a boy into a good worker, husband, and daddy.  I want to raise a little girl into a wife, mother, and to be self-sufficient if she decides to be.  I want my kids to realize that they are not the center of the universe.  We have an awesome God who fills that role.

It hurts to hear my child saying these things, and it hurts to sit and listen to her cry and beg for me.  I know she'll be over it as quick as her little eyes shut.  And as quick as she quits screaming at me, I will go in her room, crawl into her bed, wrap my arms around her, and tell her that her behavior is not okay, but that I love her more than she will ever know.

I wonder if this is how God feels when I continuously disobey him?  I wonder if he feels sad and frustrated because of having to discipline His child in a manner that seems so harsh.  Or does He know that ultimately it is the discipline that will turn His child into the person He wants me to become, the person He is molding me into?  I hope it is the latter.

Now, I have a little girl whose screaming has turned into quiet little sobs, and is very quietly whispering, "please mommy, please come lay down with me..."  Almost time to be "Loving Mommy" again.

Thank goodness.

Too Blessed to be Stressed!

I am feeling very humbled and thankful tonight.

I have spent most of the day feeling very down-in-the-dumps and mopy.  I should be shouting for joy for every second that God gives me with my family and instead, I have the "woeisme's."  I got the kids all tucked in and asleep and I turned on the television.  A medical program was on, and there was a lady that had cancer that was eating away every organ in her abdomen.  The doctors were going to attempt to take out every cancerous organ, remove tumor, and reinsert.  The lady was young, with children, and the prognosis was grim.  The doctor told her that the possibility of removing the entire tumor was not likely.

I turned it off.  I could not stand to watch because it really broke me.

I figured Facebook would surely have some comically captioned pictures that would lighten my mood.

Nope.  A nine year old boy that some friends and I have been praying for, passed away.  He lost his battle with cancer, leaving his mom and dad and brother to deal with the heartache and pain of tragic loss.

There are several people in my church family dealing with their own battle with cancer right now.  One of my favorite teachers from high school has two young children and is fighting breast cancer.  

So many others are going through situations that hurt deeply on an emotional level.  Everyone seems to have to deal with their own personal battles.

I guess my pastor is right, in this life you are either just coming out of a storm, you are right in the middle of a storm, or you are about to enter into a storm.  The point of it all is who you run to for shelter in the storm.  I started to title this post "SO VERY BLESSED."  But that's not fair.  Who am I to say that the reason I am not going through something as horrific as losing a child is because I am more blessed than that person?  No.  God doesn't work like that.  I am indeed very blessed.  Not because God likes me more than someone else, but because He loves me enough to allow me to go through tribulation so that I will draw nearer to Him.

I guess God showed me tonight that my storm isn't really so big after all.  I am struggling with it.  I'm not gonna lie.  I'm not perfect.  I have doubts and fears that overwhelm me at times.  I am struggling with the fact that my heart wants to act like its 90 instead of 27.  I am struggling with the fact that I get out of breath when I climb a flight of stairs, and that all I feel like doing is sleeping.  I'm struggling with pride and the fact that for TWO WEEKS I am going to have to depend on someone else to take care of my kids, my house, and me.  Most of all I am struggling with the fear that the doctors won't be able to fix me.  That is a terrifying thought, because I feel like I am moving in slow motion.  I can't imagine living like this for the rest of my life.  How selfish am I?!!  So many people do live majorly restricted lives and have wonderful outlooks and fulfilling lives.  Why can't I just be one of those God-trusting, non-doubters?

I know that I am having a very simple procedure.  Pacemaker surgeries generally take 2-3 hours, and are very routine.  It's not even considered major surgery anymore.  I don't think I've ever been more nervous.  I am so grateful that there even is a procedure and medication that can correct my issues.  Praise God for modern medicine!  I hate the fact that I'm feeling so depressed about this.  I could be going through a situation that is so much worse, but I'm not.

I'm going to try to shove off the "woeisme's" and pray for those who are going through worse situations.

Hopefully my next post will be full of happy.  :)

The Name Game

WHEW!!  Life has been a tad crazy!!!

We welcomed Forrest Luke Crumbley into the world on May 26th at 5:05 pm.  He weighed 8lbs 3oz and was 20in long.  He looks identical to Cy when he was born!  Such a sweetie.  Although, now he is up to 13.1 lbs and is 23.5 in long.  They grow so fast!!

I think the name Leroy has stuck though! 

A lot of people have commented on Forrest's name.  Ron was pretty set on the name, but I had him nearly talked out of it.  Although I really like the name, I didn't want the whole "Run Forrest Run" to be an issue.  However, I prayed the entire pregnancy for God to send me a name and right before Forrest was born the movie Forrest Gump came on.  Of COURSE it did.  Ron took that as a sign and RAN with it.  Ugh.  Seriously?  Not really a clincher for me, since that was the reason for my reservations.  It seems, however, as my doctor so lovingly pointed out, Forrest Gump loved his Momma.  Oh yes.  That helps.  :D

That is not what sealed the deal.

Of course Ron and I were in a heated debate in the hospital room, now with the added pressure of the birth certificate to fill out.  I began to write down a list of the names I liked best.

Wyatt
Sawyer
Lucas
Luke
Forrest

As I wrote Forrest, two words stuck out in particular....

For rest

FOR     REST

What!!??  Seriously, this hit home in a profound way, and I know that God sent me the name, just as he sent me this precious new life.  If there is a lesson that God has been clearly teaching me for the past year it has been how to rest.  Mostly because for a while, I was working myself to death.  Quite literally.

Through major health problems and a pregnancy on top of that, I have had to learn to take myself out of the ballgame and rely on others for help.  Not only that, but I have been learning what it means to rest in Christ and trust him completely.  So it makes perfect sense that this sweet boy is named For rest.  Forrest.  Because of the burden of carrying this child I have learned to allow others to help me, and to ask for prayer and assistance.  I've learned to take a break, even if I have a trillion things to do.  I haven't had a choice.  So, even though a newborn normally comes with countless hours of sleep deprivation and extra work, this gift from God has helped to reinforce what He has been teaching me.

For rest.  It makes me smile when I say it.


Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.

³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Jesus made it easy for us to achieve salvation.  It doesn't matter how hard I work, the only thing that saves me is my trust in Christ.  I can rest in the fact that my fate is sealed.  I can rest in the fact the God has control over every event in my life.  I can rest in the fact that I do NOT control my own destiny, no matter how hard I may try to.  It is all for the purpose of achieving glory for God.

Boy, does that give me peace.

Praise the Lord!

I had a really great weekend.  I felt almost normal for the first time in a LONG time!  Of course, I'm still ginormous and can't do a whole lot, but I felt good.  I worked in the garden, in the yard, and followed Ron around the farm.  I haven't been able to do that in months.  I know from experience that it means that my body is almost ready for this little guy to make his big debut.  I am so excited!  If he doesn't decide to come before then, we will induce on Saturday.  FIVE MORE DAYS!!!  Since I took off of work, I have everything just about ready.  My house is cleaner than it has been in a very long time.  I have kept the laundry at bay...which is kind of astounding!  Now if I can keep my monkeys from making any messes this week......


We had new baby piggies born last week.  They are so sweet!  Addie Mae thinks that it's her job to check on them every day.  The baby chickens running around the barn are also under her supervision.  She is so funny.  When they first hatched, there was a baby chick that had died.  Addie came and told me about it and insisted that she called her daddy.  When he answered the phone she told him that he "had to call the chicken doctor!! There's a dead baby chicken!!"

The new puppies are doing well.  I haven't killed them yet.  They are getting very good at going to the door when they need out.  Every morning at about six, they start barking wanting their breakfast.  That's okay because I get up then to get Cy on the bus.  However, these are hound dogs, and when they bark it is LOUD, and rather annoying.  I do my best to allow them to bark as little as possible.  Ron has forbidden me from telling them to hush, because apparently coon hunting dogs are SUPPOSED to bark like that.  They have adopted the habit of chewing on shoes.  Whose shoes do you think they like the most??  Yep, mine.  My favorite Yellow Box flip flops to be exact.

Our garden is also thriving.  We are about to be over-run with cucumbers, squash, zucchinis, tomatoes, and peppers.  We are already picking the squash and zucchini.  Canning season starts in about two weeks.  This year should be a challenge with a newborn!  I have a lot to can this time around.  We are completely out of salsa.  Ron loves pickled squash, and I plan to try my hand at making some pickles.  I really love the bread and butter pickles!

On another note, I am asking for your prayers.  This pregnancy has done a fabulous job of keeping my blood pressure and heart rate at a normal level.  However, we don't know what will happen when the swelling and pressure from the baby goes away.  Hopefully, things will be perfectly fine and normal.  That is my prayer anyhow, and I ask that you will pray that as well.  Right now, I am concentrating on bringing another healthy little boy into the world, and praising God for the opportunity and privilege of it!  I refuse to worry about the rest.  God is in control either way!

Hormones

Hormones have completely taken over my body. I have absolutely NO control over them and it is driving me nuts. My kids are stretching every ounce of patience I have. I think they know that I am going to break at any second. It's like they have some sort of Spidey-sense they acquire especially for my moments of weakness, and they think it's funny to antagonize me.  It’s not just them. My sweet babies at school were driving me crazy too. Every little bitty thing gets on my nerves. As much as I hated doing it, I have taken off for the remainder of the pregnancy. Which, by the way, is no more than nine days from now!! Since my doctor will be leaving the country on my due date, we decided to induce on the 26th. It’s not how I want to go into labor, due to the extra strain on the baby, but I love my doctor and trust her to deal with the medical issues I have.

Tonight was my nephew’s graduation from pre-K. Addie Mae decided she was going to be the worst behaved child in the building. I actually had to drag her to the car kicking and screaming. I was ready to sit down in the middle of the parking lot and have a big ol’ cry. My normal, rational, non-gigantically pregnant self would have picked her up, toted her to the car, spanked her little bottom, fastened her in her seat, turned on the radio, and ignored her until we got home. Unfortunately, that is not how it played out. Instead, since I can’t pick her up, I drug her by the arm, forced her into her seat, and then after I was in the car I entered into a screaming match. With a three year old. Wow. I really feel like super mom now.

She was asleep before we got home.

I know my husband is probably grateful that he started working out of town this week. I love him so very much. He was making me crazy too. I actually felt like punching his face. (Sorry honey.) He has to be happier away from the hormones. I know I would be!

Hopefully, very soon my hormones will be back to normal, and I will be nice again.

Gloom, Despair, and Agony On Me

Today has been one of those "Gloom, Despair, and Agony On Me" kinda days.  I'm feeling very sorry for myself.  I didn't get to go into work today, thanks to a continuing migraine and some really awful cramps and contractions.  The doctor tells me to REST and just to take it easy.  Bahahahahahahaha.  That is like telling me to go climb Mt. Everest tomorrow.  For one thing, with two little kids and one big kid, that is an impossible task.  Aside from that, it's just hard for me to be still.

Enough complaining about me.  We just acquired two new blue tick puppies that we are trying to house break.  Yep, my fat pregnant self is cleaning up poop and pee every few minutes on top of everything else.  They are sweet dogs though.  Addie and Cy really needed them after they lost Ellie (our first blue tick) so suddenly.  Maybe they will train easily and finish before the baby is born!

On the farming front, we have a sow due anytime to have a litter of piggies.  This makes me excited!  I love when the new animals are born.  We are also incubating chicken and turkey eggs that should hatch in a couple of weeks.  Addie Mae, aka Farm Princess, loves living on the farm and having all these animals. She is naturally good with them.  I'm trying to tear Cy away from video games right now.  I figure this summer I will have to lock him out of the house to keep him outside.  Kids don't play outside enough these days.  That's probably why juvenile diabetes is on the rise.

Ron has also been trying to get our corn in the ground, which has been nerve-racking.  First, we dealt with trying to determine when the last frost would come.  Then, it was too dry to plant.  We prayed for rain.  We got rain and started planting.  Now, the planters broke and we had to buy a whole new set.  Ron should be pulling in with the new ones any second.  However, we have to wait on the ground to dry some because we had torrential rains yesterday.  Farming is a gamble.

Through everything, I know that God is taking care of me and my family.  I know that He has a purpose and a plan.  I may not be able to see what that plan is yet, but I know there is one in place.  So for now, I am trying to sit back and try not to do God's job.

Thank goodness.  My plans always fail.  :)



“Be still, and know that I am God..." -Psalm 46:10

Nesting....

The full-blown nesting instinct has kicked in.  I was beginning to wonder whether or not it was going to.  I woke up today feeling better than I have in MONTHS.  I have had energy all day, and very little pain.  Praise God!  Since Ron will be working pretty much non-stop for the next five months, it's good that I'm getting caught up because I will have very little help!  I am very proud of my accomplishments for the day.  I have the laundry nearly caught up.  I know this doesn't really show how much of a feat this is....so let me elaborate.  Imagine a mountain of dirty laundry that consists of about 15 full loads for the washer.  Yes.  It was nearly as tall as I am.  I also washed my cabinets with Murphy's Oil Soap.  I haven't done that in over a year.  I rescrubbed the bathroom.  I swept all the floors and re-mopped the kitchen.  I am on a roll.

Thanks to my sister, Kaci, my house looks better than it has in a long time.  Bless her soul, she drove the two hours (or more, since she had my niece with her), all the way over here just to help me.  I really owe her one!  Forget Aunt Bea!  I don't need her anymore! 

Leroy now has a place to sleep, and clean clothes to wear.  I think I may have been a tad in denial about the fact that a baby is going to be in our home again.  Which is probably why he still doesn't have a real name, and why I have waited till the last second to get things ready for him.  In my dream the other night, I saw his little face and his beautiful eyes.  This kicked my rear-end in gear.  I'm so grateful that we have been blessed with another baby.  Yes, we are still getting the "bless your hearts" and looks of "are you crazy."  Honestly, our hearts HAVE been blessed!  Children are a gift.  I pray that I can be a good mommy to all three of my angels.  I am scared to death though!  

I fail so many times with my own kids, and often wonder if I show them correctly the love and support that I so desperately hope to show.  Mostly, I just want to raise my babies to love Christ.  If thats the only thing I ever teach them, I think it will be enough.

I am seriously in need of Aunt Bea.  "Leroy" is not due until May 29th....however, yesterday I learned that he may be making his grand appearance sooner than we planned.  Which is awesome, because I am ready to meet this new little blessing!  At the same time, I have absolutely NOTHING ready!  My house is a disaster.  It looks like a tornado has hit the inside.  I don't have his bed up yet.  Not a big deal because I have a bassinet....big deal because I haven't took it out of storage.  I have about a trillion loads of clothes to wash.  There are still groceries sitting on the counters from where I did my shopping on Saturday.

Normally, this all would not phase me.  I wouldn't bat an eyelash at the work, and I would buckle down and have everything perfectly in order by tonight.  But no.  Since my body decided to rebel against me in August, I can't do it.  I left work at 12 today, and have been laying here on the couch since, trying my hardest to will my body to quit hurting.  God has been trying to teach me to rest for over a year now.  Let me just say, that this is the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn!!  I'm just not a "rester."  I go till I can't....well, I used to anyway!

I know I'm whining.  For my second post in the blogging world, it can't be very entertaining or interesting.  I'm being honest though.

Last night nearly broke me.  I came  in from the doctor's office bent and determined to get everything ready.  Ha!  I cooked supper, and got the kids in the tub.  And by that time, I was doubled over with contractions.  With the two in the bathtub, screaming out needs for me to fulfill, I did the best I could to fold laundry.  Meanwhile, I just didn't realize what a mess those two monkeys were making.  The GIANT bottle of shampoo/body wash that I JUST bought Saturday, was being poured into the tub, making GIANT bubbles.  So not only are there bubbles everywhere, there was also water flooding the floor.  I did my best not to flip out and ignored the mess, got them out of the tub, forced them to put clothes on, and sat them down to eat.  Apparently they are both in a "I hate food" stage, so they barely touched the meal that nearly killed me to cook.  Awesome.  By now, I am in tears, balling like a two-year-old who just got a toy taken away.

Then I had a dream in the course of maybe two hours that I slept last night.  I dreamed that I was in full and active labor, I kept hollering for Ron to wake up and help me up so we could go to the hospital.  Ron snored away as I delivered this beautiful baby boy in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by folded clothes that were in need of being put away.  I finally got him to wake up, and take us to the hospital.  When we arrived, the doctor said the baby was fine and sent us right back home.  She said that I needed to clean my house.

Oi vey.

The Andy Griffith Show

Sometimes I want to live in a television show.  Not just any show.  Not some steamy soap opera filled with crises and emotion.  Not a crime scene drama, nor an adventure filled cop/detective show.  I want to live in Mayberry.  I don't mean I literally want to live in a pretend world.  I want to live a life like the people do on the Andy Griffith Show.  Time is slower, but every incidence can be solved in a thirty minute time frame.  Women have a distinct role that is different than a man's.  Children are well behaved, and houses stay spotless.  Of course, I know this isn't rational.  I understand that I live in a different time, and that a television show only lets certain aspects of life be seen.

That being said, there are a few things I should probably divulge.  I am a HORRIBLE housekeeper.  I mean awful.  I know how to keep a clean, orderly house and can.  But I despise staying indoors.  I love to work outside, which is great considering I'm a farm wife.  It gives me great pleasure to see plants and animals grow and thrive.  I enjoy preserving the things we grow in our very large garden.  I'm not a complete failure at house-wifery though, I love to cook.  Not just hamburger helper and a thrown together meal.  I like to cook elaborately and uniquely.  I'm pretty good at it too.  I also love being a mommy to Cylas and Addie Mae.  This task is harder, more painstaking.  These two try my patience and make me work harder than I ever thought I would.  Cylas is one of the most intelligent six year olds that I have ever known (I may sound like I'm bragging, but you can ask anyone that knows him, and they will tell you the same).  He is analytical and pays attention to every detail.  He wants to know the how's and why's of EVERYTHING.  Addie Mae is very creative and has lots of imagination.  She loves to play, sing, and dance.  They are both hilarious.  Seriously, they drive me crazy and make me laugh.  They have taught me more about trust, forgiveness, salvation, and the grace of God than any sermon I have ever heard.  God has given me these children specially to teach me and to show me how He loves.  Very soon, I will have another little boy to be Mommy to.  "Leroy" as Addie calls him, remains nameless at the moment.  Ron and I can't agree on a name, and God hasn't sent us a divine revelation yet.  He is already stubborn and quite literally plays on my nerves.  I'm so thankful for this surprise of a blessing.  

I'm not really sure what direction God is taking me in right now with all the changes that have come into my life in the past year.  I do know that He has a purpose and a plan, and I know that I am learning SO much on my journey.  I love my crazy, hectic, wonderful life, and would not trade it for another.  

Even if it isn't always as perfect as the Andy Griffith Show.