Child Rearing...

I'm pretty sure that I have never seen an episode of Andy Griffith or Leave it to Beaver in which you see Aunt Bea or June Cleaver (in all their perfection) happily doing dishes or sweeping the floor...meanwhile, you hear in the background, "I'M THROUGH!!!!"

If you are a mommy of potty-trained children, you know good and well what this means.  You are about to walk to the bathroom, open the door (or just walk through if you're at my house because no one knows how to shut a door) and as quick as you walk in you see a very naked heiney in all it's glory, sticking straight up in the air in the assumed position.  If you don't get there in the amount of time, said sticking up heiney feels is appropriate, you are bound to hear, "COME WIPE MY BUTT!!!!"

Oh yes.  These are the things the doctors do not prepare you for after birthing a precious bundle of joy. There is no manual they give you as you leave the hospital that gives step by step instructions on how to raise a child.  Trust me, I've had three and no luck with a manual yet.  

No one tells you about the times when those wonderfully sweet children turn into horrible, bratty, mean little creatures whose only goal for the day is to drive you so crazy that your head starts spinning like the chick from The Exorcist.  No one tells you that there will be days on end when you have absolutely no sleep, but you still have to get up and keep going.  No one tells you that the reason that your laundry pile is reaching the ceiling is not because you have an additional body to clothe, but because that additional body has projectile vomited all over you twelve times today.

There are other times that no one tells you about.  The first time you get to see the most adorable little smile on a tiny little face, it simply melts your heart.  The very first time you hear "I love you mommy" from the most precious voice, the world seems so much better.  No one tells you about the sweet prayers babies pray when they talk to Jesus, it doesn't even cross their minds to doubt His wonderful presence.  These special times are just the tip of the iceberg.  There are so many other times that make sleep deprivation, wearing vomit, and wiping bottoms worth every single second.  I'm trying to learn how to laugh through crummy times, because in reality these babies will be grown before I can blink.  Cy turns seven this year, and I could swear that it was just last week that I was walking the floors with him trying to soothe his colic.  

Tonight, after a VERY trying day, I finally got everyone calmed down and in bed.  We prayed our prayers and told our stories, because we can't go to sleep until that is done of course.  Cy crawled in my lap, and didn't really fit easily anymore.  His long, lanky legs draped off the bed, and his long arms wrapped around my neck.  He gave me a kiss and told me that he loves me.  That love made my negative mommy day turn into the best night a mommy could have.

I'm sure tomorrow when he remembers that I grounded him from his video games, he'll probably hate me again....but I'll think about that tomorrow!!!

Yep.  I am officially a "MEAN MOMMY!!!"

Currently I am sitting on my bed, surrounded by folded clothes, listening to my three year old scream at the top of her lungs.  "MOMMY!  MOMMY!  MOMMY!  YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!! YOUR A MEAN MOMMY!!  MOMMY COME HERE!!!  COME HERE!!! MOMMY!! MOMMY!!!


MMMMMOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!"

I implemented a new rule today, after being screamed at and ignored for the majority of the afternoon.  If you can't mind mommy, and if you insist on fussing and fighting, I will spank your bottom and send you to bed.  AND I will ignore you until you go to sleep.

My friend assures me this is "tough love."  I can assure everyone, that it is not just tough on the kids.  It is tough to be the "mean mommy" even when I know it is what is best for everyone.  I am a firm believer that today's society is rearing over-indulged, overly-petted, overly-appeased children.  I'm not saying that children shouldn't be loved and cherished.  I'm saying that as a society we are training future adults that will require the "things" they want and need in life to be handed to them on a silver platter.  Quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

As a parent I shouldn't be required to reward bad behavior by handing over a new toy or game and essentially say, "Oh it's okay to scream at me in this store in front of everyone, just because I told you you couldn't have it.  Honey, sweetie, sugarpie....just quit your bellering and I'll buy it for you."  I'm sick of it.  If people want to look at me as a horrible person, so be it.  I want to raise functional, self-supportive, confident adults.  I want to raise a boy into a good worker, husband, and daddy.  I want to raise a little girl into a wife, mother, and to be self-sufficient if she decides to be.  I want my kids to realize that they are not the center of the universe.  We have an awesome God who fills that role.

It hurts to hear my child saying these things, and it hurts to sit and listen to her cry and beg for me.  I know she'll be over it as quick as her little eyes shut.  And as quick as she quits screaming at me, I will go in her room, crawl into her bed, wrap my arms around her, and tell her that her behavior is not okay, but that I love her more than she will ever know.

I wonder if this is how God feels when I continuously disobey him?  I wonder if he feels sad and frustrated because of having to discipline His child in a manner that seems so harsh.  Or does He know that ultimately it is the discipline that will turn His child into the person He wants me to become, the person He is molding me into?  I hope it is the latter.

Now, I have a little girl whose screaming has turned into quiet little sobs, and is very quietly whispering, "please mommy, please come lay down with me..."  Almost time to be "Loving Mommy" again.

Thank goodness.

Too Blessed to be Stressed!

I am feeling very humbled and thankful tonight.

I have spent most of the day feeling very down-in-the-dumps and mopy.  I should be shouting for joy for every second that God gives me with my family and instead, I have the "woeisme's."  I got the kids all tucked in and asleep and I turned on the television.  A medical program was on, and there was a lady that had cancer that was eating away every organ in her abdomen.  The doctors were going to attempt to take out every cancerous organ, remove tumor, and reinsert.  The lady was young, with children, and the prognosis was grim.  The doctor told her that the possibility of removing the entire tumor was not likely.

I turned it off.  I could not stand to watch because it really broke me.

I figured Facebook would surely have some comically captioned pictures that would lighten my mood.

Nope.  A nine year old boy that some friends and I have been praying for, passed away.  He lost his battle with cancer, leaving his mom and dad and brother to deal with the heartache and pain of tragic loss.

There are several people in my church family dealing with their own battle with cancer right now.  One of my favorite teachers from high school has two young children and is fighting breast cancer.  

So many others are going through situations that hurt deeply on an emotional level.  Everyone seems to have to deal with their own personal battles.

I guess my pastor is right, in this life you are either just coming out of a storm, you are right in the middle of a storm, or you are about to enter into a storm.  The point of it all is who you run to for shelter in the storm.  I started to title this post "SO VERY BLESSED."  But that's not fair.  Who am I to say that the reason I am not going through something as horrific as losing a child is because I am more blessed than that person?  No.  God doesn't work like that.  I am indeed very blessed.  Not because God likes me more than someone else, but because He loves me enough to allow me to go through tribulation so that I will draw nearer to Him.

I guess God showed me tonight that my storm isn't really so big after all.  I am struggling with it.  I'm not gonna lie.  I'm not perfect.  I have doubts and fears that overwhelm me at times.  I am struggling with the fact that my heart wants to act like its 90 instead of 27.  I am struggling with the fact that I get out of breath when I climb a flight of stairs, and that all I feel like doing is sleeping.  I'm struggling with pride and the fact that for TWO WEEKS I am going to have to depend on someone else to take care of my kids, my house, and me.  Most of all I am struggling with the fear that the doctors won't be able to fix me.  That is a terrifying thought, because I feel like I am moving in slow motion.  I can't imagine living like this for the rest of my life.  How selfish am I?!!  So many people do live majorly restricted lives and have wonderful outlooks and fulfilling lives.  Why can't I just be one of those God-trusting, non-doubters?

I know that I am having a very simple procedure.  Pacemaker surgeries generally take 2-3 hours, and are very routine.  It's not even considered major surgery anymore.  I don't think I've ever been more nervous.  I am so grateful that there even is a procedure and medication that can correct my issues.  Praise God for modern medicine!  I hate the fact that I'm feeling so depressed about this.  I could be going through a situation that is so much worse, but I'm not.

I'm going to try to shove off the "woeisme's" and pray for those who are going through worse situations.

Hopefully my next post will be full of happy.  :)

The Name Game

WHEW!!  Life has been a tad crazy!!!

We welcomed Forrest Luke Crumbley into the world on May 26th at 5:05 pm.  He weighed 8lbs 3oz and was 20in long.  He looks identical to Cy when he was born!  Such a sweetie.  Although, now he is up to 13.1 lbs and is 23.5 in long.  They grow so fast!!

I think the name Leroy has stuck though! 

A lot of people have commented on Forrest's name.  Ron was pretty set on the name, but I had him nearly talked out of it.  Although I really like the name, I didn't want the whole "Run Forrest Run" to be an issue.  However, I prayed the entire pregnancy for God to send me a name and right before Forrest was born the movie Forrest Gump came on.  Of COURSE it did.  Ron took that as a sign and RAN with it.  Ugh.  Seriously?  Not really a clincher for me, since that was the reason for my reservations.  It seems, however, as my doctor so lovingly pointed out, Forrest Gump loved his Momma.  Oh yes.  That helps.  :D

That is not what sealed the deal.

Of course Ron and I were in a heated debate in the hospital room, now with the added pressure of the birth certificate to fill out.  I began to write down a list of the names I liked best.

Wyatt
Sawyer
Lucas
Luke
Forrest

As I wrote Forrest, two words stuck out in particular....

For rest

FOR     REST

What!!??  Seriously, this hit home in a profound way, and I know that God sent me the name, just as he sent me this precious new life.  If there is a lesson that God has been clearly teaching me for the past year it has been how to rest.  Mostly because for a while, I was working myself to death.  Quite literally.

Through major health problems and a pregnancy on top of that, I have had to learn to take myself out of the ballgame and rely on others for help.  Not only that, but I have been learning what it means to rest in Christ and trust him completely.  So it makes perfect sense that this sweet boy is named For rest.  Forrest.  Because of the burden of carrying this child I have learned to allow others to help me, and to ask for prayer and assistance.  I've learned to take a break, even if I have a trillion things to do.  I haven't had a choice.  So, even though a newborn normally comes with countless hours of sleep deprivation and extra work, this gift from God has helped to reinforce what He has been teaching me.

For rest.  It makes me smile when I say it.


Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.

³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Jesus made it easy for us to achieve salvation.  It doesn't matter how hard I work, the only thing that saves me is my trust in Christ.  I can rest in the fact that my fate is sealed.  I can rest in the fact the God has control over every event in my life.  I can rest in the fact that I do NOT control my own destiny, no matter how hard I may try to.  It is all for the purpose of achieving glory for God.

Boy, does that give me peace.